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Modern dating is exhausting, especially with the overwhelming amount of potential partners on dating apps. The volume of potential mates is much larger than what our parents had to deal with, with the increase of options it makes sifting through the possibilities on dating apps seems more like a chore than a fun adventure.
Compatibility between two people is the most important aspect of starting a relationship, but how do you determine compatibility before you meet in person? There are some positive things to look out for, while you’re talking in the beginning. There are a lot of articles written about red flags in the dating world. I would like to reveal some tips I found helpful while navigating dating apps when looking for a potential partner.

Meeting people through online dating websites and apps have become the norm. Long gone are the days where you would sheepishly huddle in your bedroom, out of sight from roommates while creating an OkCupid profile. Huddle.care is an online treatment program that delivers accessible, effective cognitive behavioral therapy to help create new thinking patterns, beliefs, and behaviors to alleviate suffering and lead a more meaningful life. We work together to observe what’s happening in the mind, identify the mental tricks perpetuating distress, and support. Transform the way you work. By signing in, you agree to the Terms of Use & Privacy Policy. HUD App is a casual dating app with over 10 million users worldwide. It's a no pressure way to find likeminded friends, dates, or just a little excitement. All the fun, without the expectations of. Not just for dating (it really is though), the app helps you find people nearby with a similar taste in music. Have a chat, share favourite songs, arrange to go to that gig of the Swedish glitch metal outfit you both love, see what happens. Alternatively, find someone else who loves singing along to Disney tunes in the shower.

They have good quality pictures of themselves

All of our phones have decent cameras on them. There is no excuse not to post a quality picture of your face. It’s a green flag if someone has clear photos of themselves. Bonus if they took some action shots of a hobby they love or their pet. It shows they have nothing to hide and aren’t afraid of showing their life.

They ask you questions about yourself

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A simple question goes a long way. I’ve chatted with so many people I matched with who never asked me a single question about myself. If someone asks you questions about yourself and they don’t use it as a segway to talk about themselves, chances are they are genuinely interested in you. Someone who is into you will want to know more about you, what your hobbies are, or your favorite coffee shop (maybe that could be your first date).

They understand you have a life outside the app

While we may spend a lot of time on our phones, we still have jobs, social obligations, and self-care we attend to. The potential date you’re talking to should understand that you are not “on-call” 24/7. If they respect your need for space, then they respect you. Green flag!

They want you to feel safe before, during, and after you meet up

Meeting a stranger for the first time is cause for anxiety. If you are nervous about meeting your date, ask to call or video chat to make sure they are who they say they are. When the person is okay with a call/video chat beforehand, that is a good sign! Your safety should be important to them. If that person regards your cautions, so you feel safe, that’s a green flag! They don’t pressure ride in their car or go to their place, or somewhere you aren’t comfortable with. When that person regards your cautions, so you feel safe, that’s a green flag!

These are positive behaviors to look out for. If someone has one or all of these qualities, then they will probably be a promising date. All dating situations and individuals are different. Use your personal preferences for a partner and your discretion when navigating dating apps. Stay safe, and good luck out there!

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A Public Thank You Letter

I've been a bundle of nerves for as long as I can remember. Whether checking my schoolbag obsessively to make sure I brought home the right books for homework as a kid, or worrying that I'll miss my flight, lose my keys, or catch bird flu as an adult, you can say my brain has always been a tad bit in overdrive. And when it comes to dating ... well, let's just say it's not exactly my strong suit.

If the very idea of dating puts your stomach in knots like me, you might want to check out the latest episode of The Bustle Huddle, hosted by moi. It'll help you feel not alone — as I learned from this week's guest co-host Michelle Toglia, Bustle's senior lifestyle editor who oversees our sex and relationships coverage, even dating editors have anxiety when it comes to dating!

Talking with Kathleen felt like my own personal therapy session, so I just had to ask her the big question my friends always debate whenever we talk about my dating life: Should I try to find my soulmate on Tinder?

Michelle has always come off as cool as a pickle (her favorite vegetable), and I would never think she had a single worry about dating. But she quickly reminds me that even though she covers sex and relationships regularly as part of her job, she still feels the same nervous feels I do when it comes to waiting for a text back. This week on the podcast, we spoke with Kathleen Smith, Ph.D, a therapistspecializing in dating anxiety, who helped us realize that we have more control in this game than we think we do — but it all starts with us. Talking with Kathleen felt like my own personal therapy session, so I just had to ask her the big question my friends always debate whenever we talk about my dating life: Should I try to find my soulmate on Tinder?

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Kathleen notes that Tinder can be a great thing, but beware the 'ego boost' that can end up baiting your anxiety. 'It's a very human thing to do,' Smith tells me. 'We do that in tons of ways, whether it's social media or asking for reassurance from our friends and family, but a dating app is just another way of building up yourself. But, it's kind of precarious because it can tear you down just as quickly.'

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Thanks to Kathleen, you'll learn ways to fill your time with proactive habits, instead of waiting by the phone for a text back or going onto their Instagram. She even gives us advice on how to speak confidently about your anxiety with the new person you're seeing.

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Think your anxiety is not just specific to dating? We also talked with Mark Freeman, mental health author and advocate who specializes in treating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Even if you're not coping with OCD, the techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are useful when managing all kinds of anxiety in a healthy way. As Mark says, dating is essentially all about the unknown. 'We love to find easy, quick solutions, but with relationships, it's really about being able to sit in the emotions, Mark tells us. 'Being able to sit in that uncertainty.'

Check out our full convo in this episode of The Bustle Huddle on iTunes and Spotify, where you can catch up on every episode from season 3.